I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
