so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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