How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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