Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
