We need to rekindle our bromance
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
