He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
