Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
