i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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