You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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