Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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