Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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