Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
