We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
