How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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