Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
