He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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