If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
