3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
