hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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