and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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