Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
