It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize