Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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