Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
no you cant smoke seaweed
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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