i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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