did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
