Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
