he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
