I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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