I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I party with great urgency now.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
