so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize