So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
