we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The air was thick with penises
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
