Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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