We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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