and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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