theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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