Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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