Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
