Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
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