...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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