I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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