just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
