You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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