he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sext me about skeletons
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
