I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
how drunk are you?
Several
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
