i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
