She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
