You're so nebulous sometimes
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
