How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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