She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize