she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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