After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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