Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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