im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
