all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize