i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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