I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
