my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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