hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
